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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24313648">Obsidian</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/STARfruitNinja/pseuds/STARfruitNinja'>STARfruitNinja</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Study, Gen, Introspection</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 05:54:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,264</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24313648</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/STARfruitNinja/pseuds/STARfruitNinja</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The way Akira changed with each persona was a bit eerie and kind of frightening at times, but Ryuji got used to eventually.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kurusu Akira &amp; Sakamoto Ryuji, Persona 5 Protagonist &amp; Sakamoto Ryuji</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>87</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Obsidian</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>just something i thought’d be interesting to explore. <br/>I know that satanel can only be fused in new game plus, but humor me a bit.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The way Akira changed with each persona was a bit eerie and kind of frightening at times, but Ryuji got used to it eventually. </p>
<p>There was a certain way Akira carried himself differently with each persona he equipped. Sometimes his head would drop a bit, his shoulders would shrink in a touch, and he wouldn’t meet anyone’s eyes, just like in reality when he’d hide his demeanor behind those horn-rimmed glasses. Sometimes the curve of his back meant something different, something more menacing as he’d stalk towards enemies like some kind of predator with a glare like the shadow owed him money. Sometimes he’d pull his shoulders back, puff out his chest and dominate the field like some kind of battlefield general. He could go from calculating to aloof in a split second. His presence could completely disappear one moment, and then he could be commanding the room the next.</p>
<p>Even though Ryuji didn’t know Akira as well back then, Akira was truly himself when he had Arsene.</p>
<p>With Arsene equipped, Akira was confident and powerful. Something about the way Arsene appeared behind him was just perfect somehow. Akira had unlocked a side of him he had always wanted to let out and Arsene was the embodiment of it. Akira was proud and dignified like that, and yet, he was also just a kid. Back in Kamoshida’s palace, Akira would stuff his hands in his pockets and hover about awkwardly. He still fumbled with his knife and gun, still occasionally got attacked by shadows ‘cause he wasn’t watching his back; he wasn’t perfect. He was a bit cocky, a bit green behind the ears, but it would be the most human Ryuji got to see of Akira in the Metaverse</p>
<p>After a while, Ryuji didn’t see much of Arsene. When he asked Akira where Arsene went, he said that he just didn’t have him any more. Ryuji didn’t understand how Joker managed to switch, change, and gain personas at a drop of a hat. When they ended up in the Velvet Room before the fight against Yaldabaoth, Akira explained how he metaphorically killed his personas to create newer, better ones. Ryuji watched in vague horror how their leader explained it without a single change in expression. Ryuji just couldn’t imagine creating new personas—new personalities—instantly. Seiten taisei felt like all of Ryuji. He couldn’t fathom having multiple at once.</p>
<p>Ryuji got used to it, used to the way Akira’s gait changed on a dime, how his entire expression set could be different any second.</p>
<p>Ryuji never saw Arsene again. Not until that battle against God.</p>
<p>Ryuji saw it before he reappeared. He saw Akira’s body, tense and in his battle stance despite his exhaustion, ease just the slightest bit. Almost like finally— <em>finally</em>, he was easing into himself.</p>
<p>The next second Arsene appeared overhead in a burst of bright blue flames. All of the personalities, none of them and yet all of them at once seemed to culminate within Akira, creating a single unshakeable rebellion. With that resolve, Akira gripped the chains that bound him and his persona, and in an instant, broke them, releasing his true power.</p>
<p>Arsene exploded into brilliant shards that scattered across the sky. But from those ashes, came a being beyond a persona. From Akira and the combined wishes of the people around him, came forth a desire for freedom beyond that of God himself. And so they prevailed and Satanael disappeared.</p>
<p>They thought that that was the end. But they returned to the Metaverse many times after that. Akira had returned from the Velvet room with his new Persona, Satanael, with him once more. Satanael was much smaller from the lack of wishes from the collective, but it was still stronger than any other persona Ryuji had ever seen.</p>
<p>Akira’s demeanor, however, was different from what Ryuji had seen in that final battle. Instead of that clear-eyed determination that he had witnessed before, Akira’s gaze seemed distant, almost muddled and strangely— almost empty. It was concerning when Akira’s eyes would stare emptily, not even flinching from attacks until he obliterated his opponents with a single move.</p>
<p>Ryuji decided to bring it up.</p>
<p>Akira stared at his hand uncertainly for a brief moment before answering. “I don’t know how to describe it. Every persona I've equipped was simple. It was easy to embody them. But Satanael...</p>
<p>“Satanael is almost a god. His power, his will is so pure, it’s overwhelming. His entire existence is on the basis of rebellion, but not a specific reason for why.</p>
<p>“He demands that I reject, but he doesn’t tell me <em>what</em> to reject, or why. All I hear in my head is ‘to rebel’ over and over again. All the while, I get visions of that battle against Yaldaboath.</p>
<p>“It’s an indescribable, all encompassing power that I can’t fully embody myself. I have to empty myself completely before it controls me and I start to rebel against my own will...or against you guys.”</p>
<p>After hearing that, a sinking pit formed in the bottom of his gut which Ryuji recognised to be guilt.</p>
<p>In the Metaverse, they all fought for their lives, but they fought as their truest selves. They could let go of all masks and inhibitions and just brawl. Ryuji could unapologetically yell and hype himself up as he smashed through his enemies with ease. Morgana was an unwavering gale, pure and true. Ann was a beautiful force who wielded her allure expertly like a knife. She unapologetically showed herself off and had fun while she was doing it. Yusuke dyed everything he touched with his own unique aesthetic and never once looked back. He observed and yet he was a sight to be seen. Makoto hardly changed, instead only believing in herself all the more. Her righteous strength carved a path before her and she cleared the way for everyone to follow. Haru was a kindness that killed. Her gentle demeanor hid overwhelming strength that never failed. They were all brilliant thieves that shone like gems.</p>
<p>But their leader would never experience that. He was a jack of all trades, a master of all of them. He had to keep his brilliance under wraps. He was like some kind of reverse Cinderella: trying on a million shoes, but not a single one of them fit him perfectly. </p>
<p>There was no one persona that truly suited him, until he walked out of the velvet room looking a little different.</p>
<p>Raoul was the ultimate persona for Akira. </p>
<p>Ryuji saw the strength, the confidence, all of it, back in Akira’s attacks. It was in his smile, in his gait once more. Akira’s signature grin lacked that cruel edge and instead had a youthful mischievousness. Gone was the awkward fumbling; all that remained was the Akira of today and Ryuji couldn’t have been prouder. </p>
<p>Most of all, Raoul was just <em>cool</em>. Not that Arsene and Satanael weren’t cool, it was just— Ryuji couldn’t describe it. Raoul was entrancing. He was nimble and fluid like Arsene, but there was something about the tie that danced in the wind, the cigarette between dark fangs, and that red jacket was just mesmerizing. He fit Akira perfectly and Akira wore him like a well-tailored coat. Akira’s subtle, casual playfulness was best accentuated by the modern, sleek look of Raoul and all of the Phantom Thieves couldn't tear their eyes away from their leader. With Raoul, Akira shined like polished obsidian, he was a dark brilliance that reflected those around him and made them gleam  all the brighter.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>when will i stop writing introspective oneshots. <br/>This has a ton of weird grammar issues and run on sentences, but this was just a quick thing. Hope y'all enjoyed!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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